Jessica has been getting up early and going down to enjoy the sunrise with her little girl (also a morning beachcomber, like Grandpa), but it was a different motivation for me. I wanted the photo opportunity, for sure, and I wanted the walk to the pier before the world woke up and filtered in. But mostly I wanted to have time with God and His sea.
We had to hash out some things, He and I, to reassure me that He’s got this all under control and He knows details I’m not privy to.
I wanted to take the strength of the ocean back with me, recognizing that it’s been God’s strength all along, and I’ve always had access to it. I wanted to be sure that He didn’t mind when I lean in so hard or when I push back against changes even harder.
Sometimes in my pushing back I think I’m being strong, when in reality I’m pushing myself away...running away. It’s that fight or flight mechanism of mine that’s still broken. But He knows that. He remembers what I’ve been through, and knows my responses well. He’s always been there for me and always will remain.
It may be some time before I make it back to Pensacola Beach, or any other scenic coastline, but my God will be with me in this season of change...
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